Quite literally when you suffer from anxiety you think there is some alien body inside your head. It is not based on reality, it quite simply there to confuse and irritate you. It is the endless noise and chatter that is whizzing and whirling away in the background, destabilising you and taking away your freedom to enjoy life. This endless noise and meaningless chatter is what I call the Jinx. You might call it anxiety, stress or depression and if you remember in one of my last posts I talked about renaming your challenge to something endearing, or give it a nick name, because when you give your anxiety, stress of depression a different name it is stripped of its identity, becomes a nonsense and it has lost control.
The control that the Jinx has, because right now It is that part of you that in your anxious state believes everything it hears, sees and thinks. It is that Jinx that thinks someone is talking about you, or commenting about you, it is the Jinx that notices something about a situation that is not based on fact. It is that part of you that is overtaken by your anxiety, stress or depression. Now, do not get me wrong, sometimes the Jinx is right, but I am afraid it is wrong 99.9% of the time.
False brain messages cloud your judgment and put up barriers, just because they can and because they know that in your anxious state you believe the message, sometimes because you need to, or want to, because you cannot be bothered to fight, so you just take flight. The warrior in you simply withers and dies away.
If you take a minute to think seriously about it you have a ‘jinx’ buried somewhere just waiting to pounce the minute you make a decision to do something. But, using the 5 simple ways to tame the jinx or noise inside your head will make your life easier to deal with when you are facing a little doubt or lack of self-belief
The 5 simple ways will help you to tame the blah, blah, the endless noise and chatter inside your head whenever an idea, or thought comes into your mind. The endless noise of if only I could do that, if only I had the time, the money, the faith or the determination wouldn’t life be so different. I’d be rich, wouldn’t I, happy content, satisfied, think I’d hit the jackpot, made it big and don’t have to worry any longer.
Life will be a bed of roses from now on. All I have to do is sit back and reap the rewards. Yes, of course you could be right, or not, depending on your point of view. The ‘jinx’ could be just filling your head with noise and nonsense, discouraging you, without you even realising it, if you take it literally. It’s playing tricks, mind games because it doesn’t want you to be successful, it quite simply wants to keep you prisoner, buried safely laughing at all your jokes, laughing at you, definitely not with you, not encouraging you, rather laughing because it knows it has you by the balls, tied up in knots, you are quite literally its prisoner.
It has the ego the size of a house, with a high faulted idea of itself, of its own self-importance, burrowing itself deeper into your subconscious where it is warm and nurtured taking every advantage it can in order to stop you being who you want to be, who you are aspiring to, the person who you know you are.
In order to tame the jinx it’s necessary to think of things in an altogether different way.
Let’s do it now! By learning the 5 simple ways to tame the jinx or noise inside your head.
The Jinx hates it when you smile, so first thing in the morning, as you put your feet out of bed, smile to yourself and before you actually get out of bed, think for a few minutes about what you want to achieve that day, what do you have to do that cannot be put off to another day. Make a mental list or write down what you achieved the day before and whether the achievements have taken you towards your goal or further away.
Celebrate your achievements and put to the back of your mind things that you didn’t do that weren’t important and concentrate on the important things that you must do today.
When you do get out of bed and if you are the type of person who likes to use a to-do-list, write one for the day, or if you are a technology geek record what you need to do into your phone or tablet so that you don’t forget something which is important and most definitely needs to be done that day.
Tell yourself that today will be a great day – a day to discover something new. Ensure you do something towards achieving your ultimate goal (whatever that might be) and when you do, write it down or record it on your phone so you can look back on your achievement and then remove it from your to-do-list or tick it off your check-list.
When you are talking into your phone you are using a different part of your brain than when you are having doubts about yourself, or doubts that your idea will work. Even talking to yourself in the mirror engages a different part of the brain – when you are being positive the brain doesn’t have the option of telling you any different, because it is confused.
Your conscious critical mind is overthrown by your subconscious, that part of you that is willing to take a chance, where your deepest belief system is buried, your childhood memories, where you remember being a child and falling down, but getting back up and carrying on.
Whereas the adult in you falls and stays down because you have learnt that staying down is the safest option, where you won’t be judged, where you desire to better your life by taking a chance to start a business or to leave the job you have hated for years, but have been too ashamed to admit because you feel that you will let someone down or lose financial stability.
When you walk down the street or into a room, once again smile, it’s infectious and I bet somebody will smile back – try it, you will love it. Engage someone in a short conversation about the weather, the venue or something else that comes into your head or just quite simply say hello. You will be surprised how engaging and well thought of you will come across as being.
I used to practise the technique on the tube train when I lived in London. Those days were not as fraught and my anxiety was not so debilitating. Look here is the thing, as you grow and develop and as you learn more, there is more to doubt, makes sense, don’t you think? Over the years and the more I have learnt about life the more I have used the smiling technique. I have used this technique to great effect, especially with my daughters, in those moments when they leave the house and as they drive away, your heart is in your mouth, but you have to let them go. I have also used the technique when I was teaching both adults and young people with social, emotional and behavioural difficulties, those young people with very little self-esteem.
I still smile at everyone and still always engage strangers in conversations as part of my daily ritual and it is a greater challenge when someone almost refuses to smile, but I know I can make anyone smile, if I need to. See if it works for you and leave a comment below my blog and let me know how you get on.
Part of my recovery process over the years has been the feedback I have received from people who I have helped and as a consequence, they have achieved greatness in so many ways.
Go for a walk, or spend some time in a quiet place, or imagine being in your favourite place where you can gather your thoughts, have some time to be with you, appreciate you and get to know and love the you that you are. Read or listen to a recording of a book you have meant to read or your favourite magazine. Listen to your favourite music or watch your favourite film. Reward yourself for getting to step 4.
Just spending some quality time to do something frivolous takes your mind of what is challenging you, it is just a matter of believing that you can do anything you want, as long as you believe in yourself.
I find spending time with my daughters the best, even if it is just having a chat and another thing which I have found very helpful over the years is stroking my dogs. So whatever it is that you enjoy doing and it takes your mind off any anxious thoughts you might be experiencing, I suggest that you do it, enjoy it and control it. What you have to be aware of, is that anxiety and panic attacks are a result of something that is perceived as real, when very often it is not and as such you are not in control. Get back the control you have lost for so long and end your anxiety and panic attacks.
Step 5 is a very important step.
Anxiety stops us from being able to recognise anything or any experience as positive and we forget what we need to be grateful for. We get caught up in the never ending cycle of negativity, lack of self-belief, believing what we think, feel and perceive is real. In order to stop the endless cycle of anxious thoughts and panic attacks you need to be doing a very simple exercise and that is forgetting about what is wrong and concentrate on what is right in your life.
Write down 5 or more things you are grateful (I used to carry my list around, so that in those moments of doubt, I looked at my list and realised, things were not so bad after all) for and before you go to bed at night look at your list and visualise how positive these things make you feel. Just visualise how the things you are grateful for make you feel, really get involved with the feelings, take a few deep breaths in and out, from your stomach (making sure your stomach raises in and out as you take those deep breaths) and close your eyes and relax, concentrating on your breathing, close your eyes for a few moments, count to 20 and when you get to 20 and are ready open your eyes and feel the deep sense of calm you are feeling. The more practise the longer you can stay calm and as such alleviate your anxiety and panic attacks
The above 5 steps can become your rituals – all great leaders and successful people have rituals, that’s what makes them great and successful.
There are so many rituals you can carryout, some of which, I use daily and are so simple and yet so effective. If you are interested in finding out, please leave a comment below and I will blog about them.
In order to adopt rituals that support your life going forward, the first step is to tame the Jinx and the noise in your head. You need to recognise it for what it is, false brain messages appearing real and give them the red card. For those of you who do not understand the red card, it is simply what you are given by the referee in the English game of football when you do something which brings the game and or you into disrepute.
Give your anxiety and panic attacks the Red Card!
To Your Ultimate Success
The BrainWave Therapist